So as I sit here at midnight on a Monday rolling into Tuesday, I have to pause and consider where I am at in my life. I thought about many profound things I could write about, and just thinking about it as I sit here with my tablet I figured I would just start writing and see what happens. I dont really have expectations for blogging at this point but there are a few things I would like to keep it confined to. A lot of it has to do with my view of the world in relation to what I know about my own life, sobriety, and truth, which is always where God has been and will be. I grew up a devout Traditional Catholic. I attended the Latin Mass my whole life and I learned so much, but as with many in adolescents I ended up making some wrong choices that have and will continue to affect me for the rest of my life.
I inherited an addiction problem, I made it worse when i joined the United States Coast Guard and isolated myself from everything and everyone I knew. I leaned on drinking too much, and drowned under the weight of all the troubles it caused me. I have had financial problems, problems with relationships, jobs, and everything else as result. While I am not proud of my past I have come to appreciate it in the sense of learning from it and hope to be a positive sober influence on my 4 kids who are Kaeden 4, Madison 3, Jameson 1.5, and Easton 1.5 months. I have enough stories and experience to know what not to do and to help others make better choices for themselves and their loved ones.
I am currently almost 6 months sober (the longest ever) and have completely lost the compulsions to drink or use anything. Today I live life on life’s terms, I pray my rosary daily, I read a lot, meditate, and play with my kids as much as possible. Thanks to God, my body has survived the decade of abuse I put it through, and my mind is getting better with each and everyday. I still struggle with using nicotine, I have a full time job as a contractor working on Navy aircraft, and am currently working to submit a package to get reinstated in the military. I am slowly working on a degree in homeland security. And for my downtime I am currently writing a book which will be discussed in more detail over time, but between taking some time off work, attending and working a program of sobriety, and helping with my children and studying, I am steadily making progress.
As I stated before, I have no expectations for this blog, but if I am able to reach out to someone and point them in the right direction as far as why we are here at all and what we are supposed to be doing, and how to do it, I will be more than happy. I dont know if moving forward this will become more of a series of journal entries, or informational pieces on the Faith or theological/historical discussions, or a combination of everything. I do know I am still cleaning up from the financial mess that I have created for myself and the mother of my children, who deserves much more credit for everything she has done or will do to try to keep our family as normal as possible in the wake of my destructive behavior. My posts will probably be sporadic to say the least as we still dont have internet at home and there is just a lot going on at home as one could imagine.
I do know I enjoy reading and writing A LOT. I hope to bring across a lot of interesting topics and shed some more light on my upcoming book here in the future. As well I hope to furnish some good information on what has happened to Christianity as a whole, especially the Catholic Church, and to present some very interesting topics for consideration, as well as some strengths for those in sobriety or for those who know someone struggling with addiction or spirituality.
I will state that immediate topics will contain better ways to know, love, or serve God in this world so that we may be happy with Him in the next. Whether or not you are believer this is why mankind was created, our ultimate end is with God in His ultimate glory, this IS our garden of eden. There is plenty here to distract us and that we can get wrapped up in to take us away from that. So I think for my next discussion we will go over some basic proofs for God’s existence, the essence and condition of man, and the likes. Until next post, I hope eventually to gain some followers, and that my future writings will be beneficial to all who read. God bless you! BJS